Which of the new M&Ms flavors are worth trying? Definitely not all of them.

Though it’s one of the most beloved slogans in American advertising, “Melts in your mouth, not in your hand” never rang quite true to me. The pleasure of M&M’s comes from their texture when you crunch on them: hard candy shell, soft chocolate mantle, surprise nuts or peanut butter in the core. Who are these weirdos that let M&M’s sit around in their mouth, slowly disintegrating in their saliva, rather than chewing them like an actual adult?

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Crunch is essential to an M&M. That’s what we learned in a recent sampling of alternative M&M flavors, which have proliferated faster than Oreos. M&M’s with a surprising center — nuts, crunchy bits, pretzels, whatever — were among the better offerings. But the flavors were a mixed bag. Here’s a quick rundown.

Hazelnut spread: There’s a reason they don’t call it Nutella here. It’s a poor knockoff of the beloved brand, but the creamy middle is nice.

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Pretzel: Salty and crunchier than the crispy M&M’s, somehow.

Coffee nut: Maybe you thought there would be an actual coffee bean in this. Sorry to disappoint you, but it’s just coffee flavoring and a peanut. They’re okay, I guess.

Crunchy mint: Would you like to eat Thin Mints in M&M form? I have good news for you.

Crispy: The worst name. The best texture!

Mexican jalapeño peanut: Spicy chocolate can be great. But this one has a sort of grassy, peppery taste — not like the chili-infused chocolate bars you may have tried before. It’s off-putting.

Thai coconut peanut: Challenging! The coconut flavor verges on the edge of overpowering but stops just short of being cloying.

Caramel: Basic! They’re good. They’re fine.

White chocolate peanut: The peanut flavor supersedes the white chocolate flavor, which is either good or bad news, depending on your perspective.

English toffee peanut: Why do they taste like sad pancakes? I sincerely want to know.

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